Tantrum Talk

Yesterday was a very Busy Day! Right in the middle of our Spring Break week we decided to head out to the Museum. We met our friends Lindsay and Ethan for a morning of Museum exploration and a cute flower craft. The museum had a train set, which occupied most of Grayson's time. Upstairs there was a doctor's office, grocery store and mail room. Grayson had a blast playing with the letters and mailing them. He enjoyed talking on the old school phone too. There was also a play area with a indoor play tunnel and slide, boat, and puzzles.

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We had a little hiccup with the sharing during our visit at the museum. Grayson was not very keen on sharing the trains, or the balls for the milking machine. I had to remove him from the station so that a little girl could play with the Milk Machine exhibit too. At that moment though I didn't show it I felt embarrassed. Now, I was not hugely embarrassed, but a little. I always look at parents and their children and it almost always seems that the other parents have little angelic children who, especially in public, are well behaved angels. Then, there is my G-Man. He lately has been testing all boundaries of authority I establish and often in public shows this independent side. I know I am secretly being judged by those strangers who look lovingly at their children and are quietly being thankful that it is not their precious ones acting up in that moment. All the while placing judgement on what I should or shouldn't be doing at home to take "control" of situation or in that moment what I "Should be doing." Though this kind of judgement and piercing eye gazing doesn't effect me even a fraction of what it used to at the beginning of my Mama hood, it sadly still effects me just a teeny bit from time to time. Yesterday, was one of those times.

**He was not out of control by any means! Just a little stubborn with the sharing is caring mentality.

I spoke to my mother recently and was asking her why she never told me mothering would be so hard! She claims she did but I remember nothing of the sort.
She never told me that my kids would be having poop offs and literally after changing one the other would have filled their diaper. She never told me that time management becomes a piece of ancient history. We are talking Dino age. She never ever mentioned how it would now take me three times as long to get anywhere on time and drive me crazy because I have always been punctual. Usually early even, but...not anymore. She never told me that one would be calling my name over and over and over or asking the same questions back to back a million times. All while the other would be screeching so loud it could almost rupture your eardrums. She never told me that tantrums would almost always occur while out in public and usually involve the limp noodle. (Think when a dog plays dead except with your almost 3 year old!) Then add in that you have another little one attached at your hip and you are in the middle of a busy parking lot. AND............................................SCENE.

She lovingly told me that all the other Mommies that seem to have their Crap WAY more together than me in those moments, just happen to have a window of peace in that same exact moment my child is very verbally having a tantrum or wildly thrashing...(maybe even both). She assured me as any good mom would, that those mommies have all hell break loose when they are home. I don't know why but this made me feel better. For that moment I was okay with the fact that in public my children have melt downs because at home they are perfectly happy. I began to think why would I care the slightest what a perfect stranger thinks of my child having a tantrum or my reaction to my child's tantrum!? Those strangers and eyes do not make up the type of person I am developing. Only myself and my husband have the power to do that.What my kids are experiencing at the time is not wrong. They are having feelings. Strong Feelings. It is merely my job to help them through those awkward emotions that they do not quite thoroughly understand. It is my job to help them to cope and find healthy ways to handle those emotions without hurting themselves or anyone else. It is my job to just do and be the best that I can at all times for my little ones. Even if that means in a very public place with a lot of eyes upon me I will look disheveled and as though I have nothing in my control! I started thinking maybe some of those eyes are not judging but quietly sympathizing with my current situation. Maybe just maybe someone understands. Though the mothers who do understand may not always or ever show or verbalize their understanding of  my situation. I feel better to know that no matter how "Perfect" a situation may look, there is often times a ceiling fan and undoubtedly shit flies! Personally I would rather have the shit fly all over in public places then at home. Who really wants to clean shit from the walls?!

I know that I have a long journey ahead of me and two very stubborn and headstrong little ones! Not everyday can be all rainbows and sunshine but with little ones a handmade flower will make it feel that way! For all the other days there is chocolate and wine!