Chemo Round #2 : FIGHT

Last week, I had my second Chemo Treatment and all went as the first treatment did....EXCEPT how I felt.

Treatment #2 Cocktail

So Studious

When I arrived for treatment I had my labs done and vitals taken. I weighed in at an additional 5 pounds from two weeks prior and labs were good to go. I met with Doctor C, and we discussed some of the side effects I have experienced along with very important questions I had. Such as: Can I have a glass of wine??! Okay, not that important and really not feeling wine anyways these days but received a green light should I feel for a nice glass of calm me the *&$# down!

I discussed with Doctor C all of the side effects and looked longingly into his eyes for some sort of reinforcement that this will get better. Nope! Nada! In fact, he replied, very tenderly, that this will get worse as treatment moves forward. To be honest, the first treatment was not fun but I felt a small sense of empowerment. A silent confidence that , Hey, I CAN handle this! This went wayward south real fast after the second treatment. Doctor C, his nurse and I had our discussion. Another script for nausea was written to coincide with my first and I was called back to my cozy private quarters to receive my cocktail mixers.

I had Nurse C this time. (I undoubtedly will have experienced the full alphabet by the time all is said and done) The procedure was the same. My pre-mixers, followed by my Strawberry Daiquiri and ending with my clear mix. This time, with the clear cocktail, Nurse C lowered the rate that it was administered to help with the nose burning side effect. Also, with Treatment Two, Doctor C added my hormonal blocker.

Ah, the lovely hormonal blocker: Goserelin Injection. This injection is shot into the lower fatty area of your Tum Tum. Literally little pellets are shot into your body and dissolve. This injection is used in advanced breast cancer to lower the amount of Estrogen produced. By lowering the amount of Estrogen produced, the idea is that the cancer will have less ability to grow and continue to spread. My Estrogen is feeding the cancer, so the less estrogen, the less food for the cancer. (Not the direct medical terminology I received but the gist). I receive the shot every month for the next five years. Doctor C, felt that we could start this during treatment as opposed to beginning after treatment completed. He really loves me is all!

My Little Sissy on her Wedding day!

After treatment last week and to present, I have felt awful. This round was more potent for sure. Even during treatment I felt a little on the woozy side. I got a bruise from the hormonal injection, received my injection of Neulasta the day after treatment, booked my head shaving appointment and then headed off to my hometown for my little sister's wedding. Time Line: Treatment last Tuesday with lovely and painful Gose injection, Neulasta injection on Wednesday and travel to hometown Thursday. Immediately, Tuesday night I felt sick. Three times worse than the first round. Wednesday, I felt sick all day. Thursday, I felt sick all day. Thursday night I took a shower and clumps of hair began falling out. Right before my sister's wedding...seriously! Friday my bones hurt three times more than the first treatment. (Think Flu like aches and pains, just amped up a bit). Friday, I literally slept all afternoon until 6pm. Friday night..more hair clumps and Saturday feeling horrible inside, I attended and participated in my little sissy's wedding. Then, we made our trip back home. I slept the first half before it was my turn to drive. Sunday I felt horrible and spent pretty much all day either in the bathroom or sleeping. Fun times!

Taken before Chemo #2

Thursday Night First Fall out - 7/16/2015- 2 Days Post Treatment

Today Massive Fall out- 7/20/2015 - 6 Days Post Treatment

Since my last treatment last Tuesday, I have felt horrible, been in the bathroom more times than I could possibly count, slept more than I have in months, started loosing my hair at an annoyingly quick pace (very annoying to feel strands of hair fall on your shoulders - it is similar to what I can imagine a hundred little black ants crawling around on your shoulders would feel like) and began loosing my taste buds (this is devastating to me - I LOVE to eat)!

However, even with all the toxic nonsense going on inside my body I was still able to get to my sister's wedding, have a mini vacation with my husband, see my Aunt and two cousins and actually relax a bit. This treatment really had me question whether I can really do this or not. Sad because I have just begun, but true. Cancer may have gotten it's dirty paws on me. It may make me feel like I want to sleep and never wake up again. It may make me loose all interest in foods I once loved. It may take away all of my hair. It may make me so sick I can hardly stand it. Cancer will  continue to do it's dirty deed to my body and chemo will continue to interfere with my normal healthy immune system BUT there is so many more positives. For the first time in my life I am forced to really think about me. Pretty soon I won't have to shave, or spend ridiculous amounts of money getting my hair done. Pretty soon I'll eat just about anything and it won't matter because it will all taste the same anyways. I will plan for future trips with my family because life is put into perspective. I will try new things now because every day is never a guarantee. I will give more love and hugs to those who matter most in my life because Cancer may turn things upside down and inside out. Cancer may ruin things temporarily BUT Cancer also puts things into perspective, makes you stronger than you ever knew, makes you appreciate things you may have forgotten to appreciate and gives you another chance. At the end of last week it wasn't just that I got to see my sister get married, or spend a few nights away with my husband. It was seeing family that I haven't seen in years and family that I don't get to see all the time. It was my husband keeping his cool while my hair was coming out in clumps in his hands. It was spending time sleeping and doing nothing at all. It was actually being in the "Now" more times than not. It was feeling a peace and calm even though I felt horrible. It was my husband letting me sleep the majority of the drive home. Even though I spent the last two days sleeping most of the day. Even though he was tired. It was not really thinking too much or being trapped in my head. These were the highlights of the last week. These are the moments, experiences, things, feelings that Cancer can't take from me.

With Love & Hugs,
Heather