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| Had my wig fitting with the American Cancer Society..Looks Marvelous Darling! |
I have always been a movie buff preferring a date night out to dinner and the movies to anything else.
When blockbuster was open I was a regular there every Friday evening when the new releases were out. I tried desperately to keep my choices within a 3-5 movie rental minimum. I would spend all weekend watching movies if I felt so compelled. I never have gone based on reviews solely. I hardly ever go by trailers. Some options are based on actors or directors. While others are based on plot or mere cover art. I tend to choose my books and music the same way. Having often times selected a new album or novel to read by mere chance and glance. Just selecting anything and peeking at the synopses before deciding to give it a go. I have discovered many amazing movies, books, and music in life with this strategy.
I love the place you are taken emotionally when watching an incredible movie. Or the place you wander within the realms of your own imagination when reading a great story.
Hard reality sets in with a sort of slight disappointment when I finish a great story or movie.
However, life, though can be your very own fairy tale, indeed showers you with turmoil.
In a great love story, love conquers all but in reality love takes compromise and work. More importantly, motivation from both partners to insist on action to continue to do their separate part to maintain the love they share with one another. In an action film the heroine always prevails. In real life the heroine typically is the last man standing. Cue into the word "last". In real life the heroine rarely is noticed for their good unless he or she actively makes a point to become recognized. By Choice. At this point, though a good deed may have been accomplished with the best of intentions; I am not certain how much this person could truly be a heroine when true beauty and admiration should come from a place of the heart without any expectation of something in return. In movies or stories the villains are evil and unattractive outwardly. In some cases, have beauty on the outside but a cruel intent inside. While in life real evil could be as enticing as your weakest vice, a family relative and or anyone else who has ever done you wrong or betrayed you. In movies and stories the characters are determined ahead of time. In life we are born of innocence and grow to make our on decisions that seal our fate. We determine our own paths and hold responsibility for our actions.
Choice.
However, life, though can be your very own fairy tale, indeed showers you with turmoil.
In a great love story, love conquers all but in reality love takes compromise and work. More importantly, motivation from both partners to insist on action to continue to do their separate part to maintain the love they share with one another. In an action film the heroine always prevails. In real life the heroine typically is the last man standing. Cue into the word "last". In real life the heroine rarely is noticed for their good unless he or she actively makes a point to become recognized. By Choice. At this point, though a good deed may have been accomplished with the best of intentions; I am not certain how much this person could truly be a heroine when true beauty and admiration should come from a place of the heart without any expectation of something in return. In movies or stories the villains are evil and unattractive outwardly. In some cases, have beauty on the outside but a cruel intent inside. While in life real evil could be as enticing as your weakest vice, a family relative and or anyone else who has ever done you wrong or betrayed you. In movies and stories the characters are determined ahead of time. In life we are born of innocence and grow to make our on decisions that seal our fate. We determine our own paths and hold responsibility for our actions.
Choice.
We choose how we love, who we love, how we hate, who we hate, how we deal, cope, accept, survive. Action. Reaction. All based on our simple choice. Funny because we tend to direct our anger, pain, sorrow, insecurities and even triumphs onto others in a way that may help us to be more comfortable. Hardly ever thinking of others around us. Of course we all hold a sense of entitlement to Life and how we feel it should pan out for us. Does this count as being selfish?
Sometimes I think this is just not right, I mean morally, right? Thinking and making action on anything for the sole purpose of making ourselves happy? Is this the key to life that I have been missing? I then rethink that maybe if I were to think more about only myself the insecurities would dissipate. I would not "Care" as much thus resulting in a inner peace? Maybe. Or maybe I would loose the sensitive and compassionate side of myself that can relate to others pain, hurt, anger, sorrow. Maybe in only thinking of myself I would actually loose more than gain. Everything is begun by simple choice. So many people base their choices on standards. My question is for whose benefit? Are these standards being based on the ideals of how someone else believes you should act, handle, cope, survive? Or are these standards of your own making? We all have choices everyday we are fortunate to be here on this earth. For me, I just want to make mine count for me. I want to have peace with the decisions I make in my life.
I never chose certain circumstances that I have come across in my life. I never chose to be diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It wasn't checked on a list of ideals I had for my life path. It just happened. Now my choice is how I cope, deal and handle. How I embrace, love and release. How I overcome, survive and conquer. How I choose to live with this diagnosis. How I choose to live my life after all the treatment, pain, shock, panic, fear and anxiety is gone. I have been told many times that now is my time to be selfish. Think of only myself and getting better. Maybe, yes. Easier said than done for sure. My choice is to simply try to obtain a peace with my choices along the way. In all aspects: Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. If this constitutes as being selfish then okay, I accept. At least I will try.
I have been resting, watching movies and getting lost in books. Even trying some new recipes. This is my tiny step to being more mindful of what I need to be healthy, happy, peaceful and alive. Not entirely selfish in the "don't care about anyone else" way but more selfish in the form of doing what I need to do to take care of myself in all aspects of what that may mean currently.
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| My first go at banana chocolate chip bread |
Next in line to read:
Just recently watched:
With Love & Hugs,
Heather
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