Discipline!

I have heard so much lately that the Threes are  worse than the Twos. I personally don't think that the Twos are BAD. They are a bit challenging at times but so is being a mother, right? Listen. Being a human being is difficult. Being a Mama is no different. You just add another task and role to your already overwhelming and joyous existence!

BUUUUUTTTTTTT.....Big HUGE FAT GIGANTIC BUT! I am talking "Baby Got Back," kind of But! The up and coming Threes have been testing my patience and then some. For me at least. My number one complaint of parenthood thus far besides the obvious: Time and Lack of Sleep is the big "D" word. Discipline. How? When? Why?
I have probably even posted previously about the challenges I have faced with Discipline. This is how much I personally struggle with it!
I have tried the "Time Out." I chose to call it "Cool Down" instead but the premise was the same. He did something he wasn't supposed to and he sat in his cool down chair for whatever determined amount of time. This was a temporary solution because eventually he realized he has two legs and he was going to use them. After all your "feet were made for walkin'!" He would just get up and walk away. Now, I never threw up my hands and said, "Oh well!"
I would sit him down again and again until he would realize that I meant business. Re-setting the timer over and over each time I had to reposition him.
I have tried "Spanking." Though this method has and will never sit well with me. At first I would "Pow Pow" him on the top of his hand. Then that little bugger would begin to "Pow Pow" me on the hand. Obviously that tactic was doing more harm than good. I then moved to the butt. I would "Pow Pow" him on the butt. He would cry and then so would I. When first doing this whole "Spanking Method" I never EVER did a "Pow Pow" out of anger. I always explained to him that now he was getting a "Pow Pow" and why he was getting it. AND for the record he never received a "Pow Pow" without sufficient warnings ahead of time.(Yes. I started that sentence with AND.) Initially, this worked. I think mostly because he was shocked and surprised. Then I would go and cry quietly in the bathroom feeling awful. Why? I haven't the slightest because my mother would beat my butt with a thick Ass leather belt, cutting board, and or her hand. I even had the pleasure of soap being rubbed onto my tongue before having to repeat a phrase back to her! I am no stranger to the spanking method and I turned out okay.
Anyway, eventually he just started laughing at me when I would "Pow Pow" him. Ultimately he began mimicking the action. Taking it upon his cute little self to "Pow Pow" myself or his little sister! UGH!!! Trying not to laugh in the moment. SoOOOO Hard! See. Being a Mama is difficult!

I currently do the 3 warnings and then take whatever it is away that I can. He doesn't receive said item back until later in the afternoon or the next day. This seems to resonate. I try not to yell or raise my voice because that gets us nowhere fast! I do not tolerate certain things and should he test those specific set boundaries he is to go into the room and calm down for 2 minutes. (I think I read somewhere to do a minute per the age of the child.)

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I am constantly coaching him on better ways to handle his ANGER. As he reaches the Threes it seems to be more and more like a Wolverine or Hulk type RAGE! I tell him that he can count to ten, take deep breaths in and out, and/or go into the room to calm down. Lately, he seems to REALLY be testing me, us, the boundaries and rules set!! It is a constant battle within myself not to just say, "Okay my independent soon-to-be three year old. You Win!"
Then head to the room myself and sob hysterically at what a failure at discipline I have become.
I also feel that if I don't set a more clear guideline for what is and isn't acceptable I will be disciplining him for everything!!! I can't do that. It is exhausting and unfair. So can anyone please tell me what is a Mama to do?

I jokingly have nicknamed my son Dennis after Dennis the Menace because he is sneaky, quick witted, adventurous, smart, and tests all boundaries possible. This nickname is given with nothing but love. I suppose in the end all the advice and self help books are just a guide. You have to figure out what works for you and your family. For all you "Spanking" enthusiast out there, it doesn't work for everyone!!! So as we embark on this adventurous roller coaster ride that is turning three. I am going to remember that patience is what has gotten me this far. That, along with Love, kindness, and understanding. Those are just among a few. My son is my first. He is funny, active, energetic, curious, knowledge seeking, instinctive, loving, kind, generous, thoughtful, adventurous, and 100% a product of what two human beings who love one another can create. Simple perfection all on his own. Imperfectly perfect as we all are.

Tank can be purchased at The Striped Fig and photo shot by Melissa Ashley Photography

He will "grow out" of it and I will figure it out! When all is said and done it is the journey, experience, and life that I get the pleasure of creating, nurturing, watching, guiding, and releasing into the wild world that makes all this struggle with the big "D" word worth it!