Monday, July 20, 2015

Chemo Round #2 : FIGHT

Last week, I had my second Chemo Treatment and all went as the first treatment did....EXCEPT how I felt.

Treatment #2 Cocktail

So Studious

When I arrived for treatment I had my labs done and vitals taken. I weighed in at an additional 5 pounds from two weeks prior and labs were good to go. I met with Doctor C, and we discussed some of the side effects I have experienced along with very important questions I had. Such as: Can I have a glass of wine??! Okay, not that important and really not feeling wine anyways these days but received a green light should I feel for a nice glass of calm me the *&$# down!

I discussed with Doctor C all of the side effects and looked longingly into his eyes for some sort of reinforcement that this will get better. Nope! Nada! In fact, he replied, very tenderly, that this will get worse as treatment moves forward. To be honest, the first treatment was not fun but I felt a small sense of empowerment. A silent confidence that , Hey, I CAN handle this! This went wayward south real fast after the second treatment. Doctor C, his nurse and I had our discussion. Another script for nausea was written to coincide with my first and I was called back to my cozy private quarters to receive my cocktail mixers.

I had Nurse C this time. (I undoubtedly will have experienced the full alphabet by the time all is said and done) The procedure was the same. My pre-mixers, followed by my Strawberry Daiquiri and ending with my clear mix. This time, with the clear cocktail, Nurse C lowered the rate that it was administered to help with the nose burning side effect. Also, with Treatment Two, Doctor C added my hormonal blocker.

Ah, the lovely hormonal blocker: Goserelin Injection. This injection is shot into the lower fatty area of your Tum Tum. Literally little pellets are shot into your body and dissolve. This injection is used in advanced breast cancer to lower the amount of Estrogen produced. By lowering the amount of Estrogen produced, the idea is that the cancer will have less ability to grow and continue to spread. My Estrogen is feeding the cancer, so the less estrogen, the less food for the cancer. (Not the direct medical terminology I received but the gist). I receive the shot every month for the next five years. Doctor C, felt that we could start this during treatment as opposed to beginning after treatment completed. He really loves me is all!

My Little Sissy on her Wedding day!
After treatment last week and to present, I have felt awful. This round was more potent for sure. Even during treatment I felt a little on the woozy side. I got a bruise from the hormonal injection, received my injection of Neulasta the day after treatment, booked my head shaving appointment and then headed off to my hometown for my little sister's wedding. Time Line: Treatment last Tuesday with lovely and painful Gose injection, Neulasta injection on Wednesday and travel to hometown Thursday. Immediately, Tuesday night I felt sick. Three times worse than the first round. Wednesday, I felt sick all day. Thursday, I felt sick all day. Thursday night I took a shower and clumps of hair began falling out. Right before my sister's wedding...seriously! Friday my bones hurt three times more than the first treatment. (Think Flu like aches and pains, just amped up a bit). Friday, I literally slept all afternoon until 6pm. Friday night..more hair clumps and Saturday feeling horrible inside, I attended and participated in my little sissy's wedding. Then, we made our trip back home. I slept the first half before it was my turn to drive. Sunday I felt horrible and spent pretty much all day either in the bathroom or sleeping. Fun times!

Taken before Chemo #2
Thursday Night First Fall out - 7/16/2015- 2 Days Post Treatment
Today Massive Fall out- 7/20/2015 - 6 Days Post Treatment
Since my last treatment last Tuesday, I have felt horrible, been in the bathroom more times than I could possibly count, slept more than I have in months, started loosing my hair at an annoyingly quick pace (very annoying to feel strands of hair fall on your shoulders - it is similar to what I can imagine a hundred little black ants crawling around on your shoulders would feel like) and began loosing my taste buds (this is devastating to me - I LOVE to eat)!

However, even with all the toxic nonsense going on inside my body I was still able to get to my sister's wedding, have a mini vacation with my husband, see my Aunt and two cousins and actually relax a bit. This treatment really had me question whether I can really do this or not. Sad because I have just begun, but true. Cancer may have gotten it's dirty paws on me. It may make me feel like I want to sleep and never wake up again. It may make me loose all interest in foods I once loved. It may take away all of my hair. It may make me so sick I can hardly stand it. Cancer will  continue to do it's dirty deed to my body and chemo will continue to interfere with my normal healthy immune system BUT there is so many more positives. For the first time in my life I am forced to really think about me. Pretty soon I won't have to shave, or spend ridiculous amounts of money getting my hair done. Pretty soon I'll eat just about anything and it won't matter because it will all taste the same anyways. I will plan for future trips with my family because life is put into perspective. I will try new things now because every day is never a guarantee. I will give more love and hugs to those who matter most in my life because Cancer may turn things upside down and inside out. Cancer may ruin things temporarily BUT Cancer also puts things into perspective, makes you stronger than you ever knew, makes you appreciate things you may have forgotten to appreciate and gives you another chance. At the end of last week it wasn't just that I got to see my sister get married, or spend a few nights away with my husband. It was seeing family that I haven't seen in years and family that I don't get to see all the time. It was my husband keeping his cool while my hair was coming out in clumps in his hands. It was spending time sleeping and doing nothing at all. It was actually being in the "Now" more times than not. It was feeling a peace and calm even though I felt horrible. It was my husband letting me sleep the majority of the drive home. Even though I spent the last two days sleeping most of the day. Even though he was tired. It was not really thinking too much or being trapped in my head. These were the highlights of the last week. These are the moments, experiences, things, feelings that Cancer can't take from me.

With Love & Hugs,
Heather

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Chemo Treatment - Round #1

Very Interested in the port at the moment


Tuesday June 30, 2015 9:00am, I began my Cancer Treatment.  My infusion began at 9:00am and was a process to say the least. An hour prior to eating breakfast I had to take a pill for my stomach. An hour before the chemo infusion I had to rub Lidocaine cream on my port so that it would numb the area for when the nurse sticks in the needle for IV.  When I arrive at my appointment all the preliminaries take place: The nurse made her introduction, weighed me, took me to the treatment area where there are several cozy pockets of space for each patient, took my blood pressure, made sure I was comfortable, brought me a warm blanket (Man I love those warm blankets!)

The day prior to Chemo Day I was a mess. June 29, 2015, I was so nervous my stomach was like a spin coaster rearing at high Gravitron speeds. (Yes, that wonderfully classic fair ride where if you were not the one barfing up chunks you undoubtedly were witness to someone doing so. At the very least your nose would smell that horrific vomit smell from another patron on the ride.) My tummy was maneuvering in epic somersaults this day. I earned my frequent flier miles for bathroom services that is for sure! Nerves....All chalked up to Nerves.

Back to Chemo Day. Now 9:52am, I sat in my over sized comfy recliner with my snugly warm blanket, a small television,  coffee, books, journal, word search, water and hubster by my side. At one point I could see my husbands eyes get a little red rimmed. As though for a split second he was taking in the seriousness of the situation before realizing that he needs to be strong for me. For us. In this moment, I had a gentle inward reminder of why I have and will always be the one who portrays the strength outwardly. Inside, I could be an avalanche falling to pieces but on the outside I need to remain strong.  For him. For us.


My nurse gave me a pill to help alleviate the nerves I was experiencing. I even had the pleasure of a complimentary neck and shoulder massage prior to the infusion. Now that is service in my book!
My nurse, Nurse S explained everything very thoroughly and was the sweetest. She prepped the port area with a sterile cleaner and had me take a deep breath when she counted 1..2..3.. Deep breath and exhale as I felt the pinch of the needle and IV being placed. Not so bad but felt it for sure.
Next came a saline flush. The IV also had a water bag line attached to filter with the chemo. I received Pepcid via IV for my stomach and an IV of an anti nausea medicine EMIN. All of this took about an hour and a half. Then, the first chemo drug infusion was Adromycin. A reddish orange Kool Aid, or as the pharmacists referred to as strawberry daiquiri concoction. This was a 30 minute infusion. As I sat I wore stylish nursing gloves and soaked my nails in ice water to try to prevent any discoloration of the nail beds from the chemo. Not my favorite thing to do I have decided.  I can always opt for a darker polish. During this 30 minute infusion the pharmacists walks over and discusses possible side effects and how to try to avoid them on my end. He explains that the cocktail of pre-administered anti-nausea meds are the best that they have had experience with. They would be happy to try an alternate cocktail if the need arises but they have the best outcome from what they have administered to me. My job is to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. We are talking a gallon of fluid. He explains to take my pills for nausea at the first sign of discomfort because once I get to that stomach bug feeling, it is too late and there will be little they could do for me. He continues to explain that my urine will be reddish orange for the following two days. Again, explaining that the more fluid I take in the easier it will be for the chemo drugs administered to flow out of my body allowing me minimal side effects.
My Kool Aid Daiquiri
So happy to be done with the ice torture

Thirty minutes come and gone. I am relieved to take my finger tips out of the frozen waters. Next is my second chemo infusion, Cytoxan. This infusion took an hour and was a clear fluid. Once this drug began I felt a slight cramping in my lower left belly quadrant. Towards the end of this infusion I experienced a burning feeling in my nose and sinuses. Felt similar to when you have a head cold and you feel that pressure in your nose or when you get water from the pool up your nose. Before detaching my IV, Nurse S gives me some water via IV simply to help hydrate. She recommends us purchasing the alkaline water from Trader Joe's for added benefit.

When all is said and done I am out at 1:30pm, fully loaded on my IV daiquiri, Clear liquid drug, Anti-Nausea meds, water, coffee, lunch (which was provided in the treatment room), I have peed orange several times and am not feeling bad at all.

After Chemo, I was ready for a snack because I had eaten lunch around 11:30am. I grabbed a PB Chocolate smoothie from Jamba Juice, merely thinking that I needed some protein. Bad choice. Around 4:30pm I felt super nauseous. The kind of nausea that you just are awaiting the next set of actions to take place. The nausea that hits you hard and has you spitting in the toilet because you can't stop foaming at the mouth. Yeah, No Fun! I felt a little dizzy and a bit like passing out. I took my anti-nausea pill and laid down. No actual vomit action to my surprise and appreciation. I will take the nausea over actual act of throwing up ANY Day! Hell, Ill take Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha over praying to the porcelain goddess ANY day!! Just saying. We all have our preferences in EVERYTHING.


Wednesday July 1, 2015 at 2:00pm I went back to receive an injection in my belly to help aid in the process of replenishing the white blood cells the chemo has depleted in my body. This is all very scientific you know. Where is Bill Nye when you need him? This appointment took all of 30 minutes tops. I received a shot in my belly, some reading material, information from Nurse S and I was out the door. Possible side effects are: bone aches similar to that of the flu and susceptibility to infection. Took a Claritin prior to injection to help aid in the inflammation, also took Advil when I got home to help with the bone pain ahead of time. Day 2-4 I am to take Advil for pain and a daily Claritin on top of everything else.

Looking Back:

When I was taking my treatment I saw women of all ages. I was probably the youngest, but there were women that looked maybe  to be in their 40's, 50's and older. I exchanged some understanding smiles. I also was witness to the staff singing and serenading patients for their last treatment. The staff gathers and sings (similar to the birthday serenade one may be given at a restaurant) they give the patient a certificate and balloons. It is really the sweetest send off. I congratulated two patients in passing by between my two days of appointments. Their faces were just lit up! All I could think of is whether or not I will cry when my time comes. Happy tears of course!


Why I am opting-No Wig



Some Fun/interesting Facts:

-I brush my teeth anywhere from 4-6 times a day now and use two different toothpastes
-I rinse my mouth in between brushing with salt and warm water (if Home) - This is to help prevent   mouth sores that the Chemo could cause
-When out of the house I rinse with alcohol free mouthwash after meals
-I have to flush the toilet twice from day 1-4 to prevent the chemo chemicals from lingering in the toilet
-I not only carry mouthwash in my purse now, but also: hand sanitizer, eye drops and anti nausea pills
-I wash my hands OCD- monk style because apparently I am more susceptible to infection from day 4-12
Why I am opting a hat
(Day 1=Chemo treatment, Day 2=injection, Day 3...so on)
-I will have to bring back memories of Michael Jackson and wear a face mask while in public places. If you see me, No I do not have an infectious disease. I am merely trying to prevent and take any and all precautions to assure I do not acquire your infectious diseases!
-I will undoubtedly become a germaphobe during this process
-I am at risk for Lymphedema forever-What does this mean? NO heavy lifting, no picking up my littles, no push ups, weights, when flying I have to wear a special sleeve, etc.  :(
-I eat Popsicles for a snack (eating one right now)
-I still have my hair


With Love and Hugs,
Heather :)